; 10 mins time.
i will turn 20. i honestly don’t feel any excitement at all. wishes has start coming in from my friends in aussie but yet it still hasn’t sunk into me. i stopped looking forward to my birthday when i was turning 16. in true honesty, that year haunts me a lot. it still does. it was supposed to be an exciting birthday that year but it didn’t happened.
turning 20. i’m almost leaving the teenage years. &as much as i always look forward to presents, what i really want is just pure, genuine happiness. a genuine smile. one that i don’t need to fake. i’m tired of having the feel of wanting to cry every time i smile so wide knowing that everything is just fake.
19 years of life. it was a fcking roller coaster ride. full of happiness, sadness, laughter, tears, heartbreaks & everything else roll into one. but i’m just glad GOD is always with me in every steps of my life. there were times where i’ve forgotten bout him, where i moved on with life without him, where i didnt say my prayers but he never did left me. sometimes, i may have be angry with him, but yet he’s still there forever. he’s the greatest & i’ll never be who i am without him. &my mum & family <3 they’re after all my everything <3
&for tonight dear god, i just want you to keep my brother safe in his night mission.
i love you Allah. <3
&to turning 20, i hope to be wiser, more patience, to be a better person & to be closer to god. <3
xoxoxo,
atiqah.
